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Patrick Cruse 11 Sep 2017
Pat Cruse @thakilla
This is easily the best pitch of all time. Note that he uses the regular rubber and not the ceremonial rubber, like… https://t.co/WWpqu1CE3y
If you don't use glove conditioner and wrap your 4 year old's new glove can you even count yourself as a real dad? https://t.co/58ZwzxjuCb
Patrick Cruse 10 Sep 2017
RT @DavidVidecette: And the quick thinking, kind hearted hearted human, right time right place award goes to... https://t.co/AYAA5fNTDA
Patrick Cruse 9 Sep 2017
RT @AwardsDarwin: I'm not sure surfing in a hurricane is a good idea. https://t.co/qIDoOOw1YD
Patrick Cruse 8 Sep 2017
@KyleRedd I hit some wedges while looking at the target like you suggested. If I didn't shank then they sorta went on line. An improvement!
Patrick Cruse 5 Sep 2017
I will now attempt to replace the power supply in my computer. The YouTube video is 3:17 long. Prediction: 2.5 hours and it won't work.
Patrick Cruse 4 Sep 2017
Finally convinced a chick to go into the airplane bathroom with me and take care of business. #MileHighDadLife
My son "proved" that he was big enough to use the adult urinal. He just had to stand on his tippy-toes and rest his penis on the porcelain
Theory: it's impossible for men to frown while angling their pee stream up between 35° and 80°. Try outside or in shower for best results.
Patrick Cruse 2 Sep 2017
@AndySwan checking in from @ChipotleTweets in Port Richey, FL: No queso. Unsurprisingly, the chips were also stale. Queso = Fresh Chips
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