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Patrick Cruse 4 Aug 2014
Pat Cruse @thakilla
I've never felt more loved than when my wife put all the nuts from the brownie mix on my half even though she likes nuts too. #deeznuts!
Patrick Cruse 3 Aug 2014
Pro Tip: When doing dishes, it's easier to eat the last 1/4th of the Mac N Cheese with the wooden spoon than it is to save the leftovers.
Patrick Cruse 29 Jul 2014
Pro Tip: Have a kid if you need an excuse to jump in a foam pit without feeling like a creeper. #EmbarassedMyWife http://t.co/33iKoOvpaO
RT @steveastlegolf: Ha ha Keegan Bradley creeping on a Tiger! https://t.co/un75u9WFcU
Patrick Cruse 26 Jul 2014
Yesterday, I was 90% certain I forgot deodorant for my right armpit. I got home, discovered I forgot both pits, and felt much more sane.
Patrick Cruse 25 Jul 2014
This'll teach the wifey to stay off facebook on my office computer. http://t.co/1OX7dbqYLJ
Patrick Cruse 23 Jul 2014
My next 20 years just flashed before my eyes. http://t.co/C4G4vh6uGu
Patrick Cruse 22 Jul 2014
While all my childless friends were sleeping, my son tripped head first into my bowl of Resse's cereal. 8am impromptu bath/carpet cleaning.
Patrick Cruse 21 Jul 2014
Really disappointing that an 18 pack of Bagel Bites are 25 cents/oz and a 40 pack of Bagel Bites are 25.6 cents/oz.
Used my WSOP winnings to buy a new car to take my son drifting in. #4thehaterz http://t.co/QkJqNcdPcD
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