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Patrick Cruse 6 Jan 2014
Pat Cruse @thakilla
Can a kid survive if all you do is give him milk, string cheese, and wipe his snotty nose? Asking for a friend.
Patrick Cruse 5 Jan 2014
Yep, that's 6 full Fijis. Of course he orders another + a coffee, tips $1, and puts Fiji on floor with rest of them. http://t.co/6v1W9JLXJe
Patrick Cruse 3 Jan 2014
Pro parenting tip: It's all about how YOU react! https://t.co/YRVMLkSLQc
Pro parenting tip: Increase your Indian-Style sitting endurance.
Patrick Cruse 30 Dec 2013
I'd seen this before, but i just cried from laughing again. If you don't think this is funny we aren't friends. http://t.co/43kOvJpbdj
I've never seen @MattMoorePoker smiling so big or walking as fast as he just was on his way back to the poker room after holiday break.
Patrick Cruse 28 Dec 2013
I love my neighbors. They read my previous tweet and and delivered me a brand new can immediately. #unnecessary @DuaneCope313
The holidays are about letting your neighbor borrow your Cool Whip even if it means you won't have any for your 3:30am slice of pumpkin pie
Looks like I'll have to start a new streak in 2014. Busted just shy of the money. 5 hours of life I'll never get back. #tourneysstillsuck
Patrick Cruse 27 Dec 2013
I realized I was about to go all of 2013 without cashing a tourney so I decided to play (and prolly win) the Aria $300 KO. #gonnaregretthis
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