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Melissa Burr 30 Apr 2017
Melissa Burr @burrrrrberry
Im one losing session away from having to pass on the guacamole when they tell me it's extra.
Fitted sheets are the bane of my existence.
Melissa Burr 25 Apr 2017
Do you guys ever think about what you could do with all that extra time you spend "pooping?"
Melissa Burr 24 Apr 2017
I never feel like a bigger failure than when I can't find the on/off switch on the vaccuum.
Melissa Burr 20 Apr 2017
Have you ever had sex in a car?
Melissa Burr 17 Apr 2017
That ice cream grind though..... https://t.co/sbsYk1Ih8r
Not all heroes wear capes.... You're allowed to pass the dice mush.
Melissa Burr 10 Apr 2017
Am I supposed to know who this sergio garcia is?
Melissa Burr 5 Apr 2017
Me: I lost 13k last night Him: got any snacks? Me: sure come over Him: I won 670 playing 15/30 Me: Get the fuck out of my house
Fucking people are just the worst. THE WORST.
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