Benjamin Bass 4 Jan 2015
Ben Bass & Beyond @BenBassBeyond
I keep writing 1915 on my checks because I write checks
Benjamin Bass 30 Dec 2014
"Roethlisberger" is German for "rapey Will Ferrell"
So awkward. My roommate just heard me having sex with his mom
Sometimes I put on "Black Hole Sun" and "I Want It That Way" at the same time and let them fight it out
Benjamin Bass 9 Dec 2014
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane. What are the odds?
Benjamin Bass 3 Dec 2014
Wesley Snipes said "Always bet on black," referring to the power of U.S. Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. to prosecute tax evasion
Benjamin Bass 1 Nov 2014
@RealTimers Please quit booking Rula Jebreal, not because she's Muslim but because she's horrible.
Benjamin Bass 29 Oct 2014
The judge got so sick of issuing restraining orders against me, he told me to stay 500 yards away from the courthouse
Benjamin Bass 24 Oct 2014
Because I didn't fully understand a 1980s admonition to "Relax, Don't Do It," I have since relaxed and not done anything.
Benjamin Bass 16 Oct 2014
I was irrationally afraid of Ebola in '92
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