Kyle Burnside 19 Jul 2015
kyle burnside @birdmanburnside
Me: "Aw, your baby is cute. How old is she?" Woman: "Oh she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time?" Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."
Im eating just in case i get hungry later #precautionarymeasures
Kyle Burnside 2 Jul 2015
RT @comedyorjoke: Just got the new Apple Watch http://t.co/AkE7mUS20y
Kyle Burnside 25 Jun 2015
If I had as many meaningful conversations as crazy people have with themselves I'd be a very happy person. #batshitconvos #NYC
Kyle Burnside 18 Jun 2015
They must have the same job application for McDonald's and U.S. Customs #wow
Kyle Burnside 13 Jun 2015
RT @TheComedyHumor: the only vine that matters honestly http://t.co/9h2x43p2ub
RT @TheComedyHumor: When you mopping the floor & your song comes on http://t.co/Vs2agV6cj1
Kyle Burnside 30 May 2015
I really hate people who try to be more courteous than me in a doorway when I've already given them the head nodd to go first #imnicernotyou
Kyle Burnside 22 May 2015
We call me twinkies! #detroit
Kyle Burnside 21 May 2015
Landed safely in Michigan, I obv flew the plane very safely as per usual #BIRDMANBIRDMAN
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