Jake Schwartz 10 Nov 2014
Jake Schwartz @Jake11291
Adding this one to the spank bank http://t.co/lLVxzqcJM1
Newsroom comes back tonight for those who watch the show. Feel like there were no commercials showing this so I'll take to twitter to warn
Jake Schwartz 8 Nov 2014
Realized I accidentally sent @msalsberg a snapchat of my dick and i am truly sorry. Had to recognize who was the Girthiest in the game
Uber driver just child proof locked the doors. Probably a brilliant call
Forgot I made a bet 2 years ago that @b_campanello45 would be dead by his 26th birthday. Please die already Bryan!
Jake Schwartz 7 Nov 2014
Is this supposed to inspire Jeremy Lin? http://t.co/4W2PI4A4Tz
Jake Schwartz 6 Nov 2014
Don't know who is more unbearable in the Papa Johns commercials... Papa John or Peyton Manning
RT @Grantland33: A Complete List of NBA Players Throughout History Who Josh Smith Will Not Respond To, by @netwerk http://t.co/G1cSnqJlJJ
Hey Interstellar, next time you mindfuck me that hard, at least have the decency to lube me up first
Jake Schwartz 5 Nov 2014
Wishing a Happy 30th Birthday to the biggest kid in poker @Justin_Zaki
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