Jake Schwartz 13 Dec 2014
Jake Schwartz @Jake11291
Breaking news!!!! http://t.co/Qvn4oDLudV
@chasedodge we are stealing diapers off Isabells tushie
Just told a girl happy birthday and her friend interjects and grabs my Dick and screams thank you. Am I in the fucking twilight zone tonight
I guess this was a sick pick up line??? http://t.co/iZy34094q8
Jake Schwartz 12 Dec 2014
A white girl told me she looked like Whoopi Goldberg tonight. What the fuck?!?!?!?
Star lord just chilling at the bar? http://t.co/84P4sfseZ6
Jake Schwartz 11 Dec 2014
Going to see Black Keys tonight at Phillips Arena. Don't know much about them but heard its a great show.
Jake Schwartz 10 Dec 2014
Sons of Anarchy may have just turned into an all male gay orgy in the final couple minutes of a seven season show.
Why the fuck is Johnny Damon about to do Celebrity Apprentice?
Jake Schwartz 9 Dec 2014
Wow. Newfound respect for John Wall tonight. That was very touching
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