Tom Schneider 7 Apr 2015
Tom Schneider @DonkeyBomber
Love instant karma. https://t.co/FswBeAe0lJ
Tom Schneider 4 Apr 2015
Humans are the most amazing people. Just sayN
Tom Schneider 2 Apr 2015
Does anyone know where I could buy some elbow grease? Yes, the previous tweet inspired this tweet. Next tweet grease monkey something.
Why was "grease" the word? Is it still the word? If so, GREASE baby, GREASE.
Tom Schneider 1 Apr 2015
Hey pharmacy people. Y do U always make sick people walk to the back of the store. Put the health food in the back and Imodium at the front
Tom Schneider 30 Mar 2015
Ok. So about these poop eating dogs...how bad must the food be that these people are feeding them? Can't get what I saw, out of my mind.
I apologize. I think I'm the reason @McDonalds & the like say "Anything else with that"? I'm very susceptible to the add-on sales technique
I've heard a human's mouth is dirtier than a dog's. Just saw a dog eat poop. Does that statement include dogs that do that?
Tom Schneider 24 Feb 2015
After cleaning out my house I found enough hotel hand lotion to start a new hotel. We all know lotion is a hotel's biggest expense
Siri is having a bad day. http://t.co/Ag9BuOp8If
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