Tom Schneider 7 Mar 2016
Tom Schneider @DonkeyBomber
So tonight I lit up the BBQ w/nothing on it just to make the neighbors think I like to cook. They fell for it asking if they could hav some
Tom Schneider 6 Mar 2016
Love this weather in Phoenix. The best part about it is the smell of people grilling steaks on the barbecue as I drive to a restaurant.
Tom Schneider 4 Mar 2016
Have cancelled my subscription to @ComedyCentral until the Republican Debates are over.
Tom Schneider 28 Feb 2016
Hey FBI. No need for Apple's help. I figured out how to open the iPhone. Guys, use asphalt. Simple really. https://t.co/xt6P3q0sQs
Tom Schneider 16 Feb 2016
I figured it out. The owner of this house works in the circus as a stilt walker. Ok, I can sleep now. Stupid tweet? https://t.co/Wh4ov16Uop
Tom Schneider 15 Feb 2016
Was real close to making an offer on this little real estate gem but couldn't figure out how to get in. https://t.co/Qoeg4QrBZ8
Tom Schneider 14 Feb 2016
I have a fever and the only cure is more gourd. #SaturdaynightLive https://t.co/YtItr6P90L
Mariachi band at restaurant. I believe in tough economic times the gourd player will be the first to go. https://t.co/6wXGFtCvDv
Tom Schneider 11 Feb 2016
I will watch and then comment. Guessing I look stupid. That's my natural look. https://t.co/q0YF4Sbhcc
Tom Schneider 10 Feb 2016
If this plane crashes it will be because the lady next to me does not have her phone on airplane mode. Wish I could talk to the black box.
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