RT @dansmithholla: The 1st time I met @FakeFlawless was 7 years ago. He told me "if you don't piss on this elevator right now you're a fuc…

One problem with having a Jewish wedding is these clowns can't dance like I can.

Moron rabbi literally just asked me if I take Cassie to be my wife. Wtf do you think we're doing here???

Antonio can't lunge for a day without whipping his dick out in public? Give me a #100 vest and I'll handstand walk to Mexico for less money.

RT @professorben: Old, asian guy to @FakeFlawless: "shhhhh, not talk so much. Once in while ok, but too muchhhh" #LAPC

Hey @TheRealAnsky you play plo like a drunk fat guy playing whack-a-mole. Learn some finesse, you dont need to pot every street. #freetips

Wagyu is gross. I like it, but I like it the same way I like skittles. #grassfed4l