RT @SteveStfler: That awkward moment when Halloween is over but you're still a slut

Some days I root for Ronaldo some days I don't. Depends on how douchy his hair looks when the game starts.

RT @IraSchoffel: It takes a special kind of arrogance to design illegal pick plays for the end zone - get flagged only one of two times - a…

Being hungover before the Sunday night game is awful. And I'm down to like 4oz of booze in the house.

Can't win a hand when I'm 90%+ favorite. I think McDonald's monopoly is my best bet to make a milli

Playing lowest buy in live tourney possible. Will probably win. #jakeluck

My Future... http://t.co/jP1G3HEE2n

When you bust a tournament you should celebrate with shishitsu peppers and 58 sushi rolls. #fatassgrind Oh and lots of vodka martinis.

RT @BrosConfessions: Retweet if you're in the 84% http://t.co/mYfboifeKX

RT @coreyburbick: Bryce Harper plays like if your douche buddy that takes intramural softball way to seriously actually had major league ta…