BoM2015: Tuesday 07:32

So... I'm going to Malta to play poker and write about poker! Am I excited? FUCK YEAH!

I know didn't win the package fair and square, I won it by default.

I'd be lying if I said I knew exactly what has gone on, I'd also be lying if I said I cared that much, because the end result is that I'm getting a week in a posh hotel, in a beautiful country, and a brilliant opportunity to do two things that I love to do: write, and play the pokers.

I'm better at writing than playing poker, so chances are I'll be doing more of that, but you'd best believe I intend to play as hard as I can and shoot for the ultimate bink story.

I'll only be having one bullet, I'm a full on micro-fish, swimming giddily in shark infested waters, but maybe I can outmanoever a few of the bigger fish, and stay alive long enough to at least cash.

I probably should be playing it cool, and acting like I do this everyday, but I'd never pull it off, because I am ridiculously excited!

I'm going to be helping out Ranking Hero's Proper Blogger, @Rémi Rkh 
I shall enjoy being his little writer-monkey-bitch for a week, although I will be forced to speak like all the characters from 'Allo 'Allo at some point, because he is French, and I am English, so I will not be able to help myself; I bet he can't wait.

I've never had a holiday in the winter before, I cannot believe I might still have a light tan at Xmas! Of course, the first part of any holiday is getting there, and as I write this, I'm 24 hours away from getting on my plane and I'll be leaving Manchester at 6pm tonight- such is the time inefficient burden of low cost travel!

I'm getting on a bus, and then a plane that was so cheap, I'm expecting the aircraft to be loads of angry ducks, gaffa-taped together with balloons tied to their necks.

My shoestring will get me there, and I'll post as often as wifi and my own technological incompetence permits!

I am really excited to have backdoored this opportunity. I'm not gonna gush on about how I'm grateful and thank a diety, because I feel like I've earned this from years of being a punter. Gambling too much is bad. I made the choice to gamble within my means as my form of leisure entertainment, and as a result, I've had a lucky bink. That's the nature of punting.

I got lucky that I had the free time to write some posts to get the entry to the sng, I got lucky that the actual winner couldn't go, and the other guy who beat me in the sng couldn't go. I'm a lucky, lucky bastard, and I won't forget that as I lounge about by the pool, perving from behind my sunglasses.

I have to go now, I have to work out how to get 15 different outfits and associated shoes to weigh less than 15kg. If anyone has any viable science on that, let me know.

Let's do this! Wheeee!